SA meetings start at their published start time. We know some people will be late and they are welcome, but we start on time. Meetings are usually one hour long.
To help you find the right entry some of our meetings will have an "S" sign near one or more of the doors. That's our signal that these are the doors you should use to come in to the meeting.
You are welcome to introduce yourself by your first name and just say that it is your first meeting. That will let us know to get you a Newcomers handout and also be available to answer any questions you may have.
12-Step meetings are conducted following the pattern of AA. We borrow frequently from AA literature substituting "lust" for "alcohol" of their literature is immediately applicable to us. Our SA meetings will all have similar elements, but each meeting will be slightly different than other SA meetings.
Please note that you will NOT be asked to say or share anything during the meeting. You are free to share your first name during introductions. You are more than welcome to sit nd listen.
The leader will open the meeting. We often start with the Serenity Prayer. We will ask anyone there for their first meeting to raise their hand. This will enable the leader to explain what we are doing and will ask for one or two volunteers from the fellowship members to share the 5-minute version of their story during Introductions.
The leader will hand out two or three short readings to anyone present willing to read. These are summaries about the Sexaholics Anonymous fellowship, what brought us to this point in our lives, and what we have found to be the solution.
We then go around the room introducing ourselves. The leader will describe the format and will usually go first to illustrate it. Here's what we typically share:
Your first name - Some will say "My name is [name] and I'm a sexaholic/recovering sexaholic/addicted to lust/porn addict" or whatever description you are comfortable with.
Your sobriety date or length of sexual sobriety - Some will say "I'm grateful for another day of sobriety" or "I'm sober today" or "My sobriety date is Sept 4 of 2019" or "I have been sober for 90 days as of today."
Any Step that you are working on - Some will say "I'm working on Step 1 with a sponsor" or "I am on Step 4" or "I'm not working any steps right now" or "I'm working a different program right now" which refers to an outside counseling or therapy program.
THERE ARE NO DUES OR FEES TO ATTEND SA! The Seventh Tradition states "Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." We pass around an envelope for voluntary contributions to pay our bills. We DO NOT require that anyone pays anything.
Each SA meeting chooses what they will do during their meeting time. Some of the types of meetings are:
Reading Meetings - The group takes turns reading out loud from one of the SA or AA books.
10th Step Meetings - The time is given to sharing and checking in honestly with how we have been over the last week as modeled in Step 10.
Speaker Meetings - The time is given to a brother in the fellowship who has prepared to share some thoughts on recovery and the journey of sobriety.
We celebrate milestones in recovery by giving out chips for those that have achieved 1 month, 2 months, of sobriety. Our most important chip is the "24-hour/Surrender." This chip acknowledges that the person is committing to recovery for the next 24 hours. Many newcomers choose to get a "24-Hour/Surrender" chip at their first meeting.
We will share any announcements about the meetings such as changes to time or location or upcoming SA events. We also offer a phone list of members who have chosen to let others call them.
The leader closes the meeting. We often say the "We" version of the Serenity Prayer where we substitute "we" or "us" instead of "me" or "I". We also have a traditional closing chant.
“Keep coming back, it works if you work it,
so work it, you’re worth it and everybody’s worth it."
We encourage people to hang around after the meeting to chat with each other, exchange phone numbers, find a sponsor or get their questions answered. Sometimes people may choose to go out to eat and continue talking. When the last person is gone, we turn out the lights and lock the door.